Finals

I'm a little dazed with how serious some students take these exams. Speaking as a freshman who hasn't had the time to let it sink in that this IS his future, it's just a little bewildering how much is dictated to students instead learned by them. Do you understand? Instead of just reading a book, I'd like to explore the subject in total. But these are just the unheard cries of another lackluster student looking to make a quick post about how unfair the world is.

On the contrary, I don't believe the world is unfair at all. There are just some things I'd do differently if I could. Is that suddenly a crime?

Look at me, explaining myself to my invisible persecutors. It's odd that I think such things when I've led such a blessed life. But isn't that the crux of expressing myself? To talk about the wrongs? The rights are so boring.

But I digress. Let it be known, that from here forward, I will...do exactly as society dictates and attempt to destroy the box they put me in all at the same time.

All of these contradictions in my life can not be healthy at all.

I want to be the artistic poet, prone to fits of rage and passion, while at the same time, I'd simply want to be the lovable screw up who cleans up his act at the end, and then I'd like to be the popular kind-hearted kid with a lot to offer the world.

All of these different personae struggle to take over my personality and I end up pleasing different people at the same time. I've only ever been my true self around Jennifer, which I guess is why no one realizes exactly WHY she fell for me (hell, even I think she lost a bet). There might have been a few others but I really can't tell when I'm myself and when I'm the starving artist, or joking lover-boy.

I used to love being miserable, which is why I pushed myself into all types of situations. I could talk about them, but why bother. All of you who read this were probably THERE for the story anyway, so whatever.

That's basically all I have to talk about. I'm just sitting here waiting until 1:00 for my next final...I should really be studying...shit, oh well. Here I go.

Peace be upon you,

Michael